Fighting Myself is a song by American rock band Linkin Park. It was originally recorded during the Meteora recording sessions but did not make the album. On March 24, 2023, it was officially released as the second pre-release single from the 20th Anniversary Edition of Meteora. It is the second track on the "Lost Demos" compilation.
Background[]
The song was among the 15 recorded during the album sessions at NRG Studios in late 2002. Along with "More the Victim", it didn't make it to the next step after recording, mixing. It was also never considered fully completed by the band but "90 percent" there as Mike has said. Mike Shinoda was going through drives looking for this song to include it on Meteora 20. He remembered the song, but had forgotten how far in the process it made it. The rest of the band had also forgotten about the track's near-finished state. In the Booklet on Meteora 20, Brad Delson wrote on "Shortcut/Fighting Myself": "We thought this was an epic, unfinished instrumental. In the summer of 2022, a dusty drive was excavated from the deepest recesses of the LP treasure trove. On it were "Shortcut" stems: one labeled "MS Vox," on "CB Vox." Mike flew them into the instrumental, gave it a deft mix, and the song magically emerged.
The title "Shortcut" is the working title of the song. It was used on a Linkin Park Stagelight pack track from 2012, a short drum beat that is the same one from "Fighting Myself". The title also appears on the red song board with all of the songs' demo titles and status, present in the NRG recording space during the sessions, as seen in videos. Due to blurriness in early videos, the title on the board was misread as "Serpent" until 2023.
Lyrics[]
Now sometimes these thoughts in my head speak so loud
Every little thing that I think about
Just builds on top of the pain and doubt
Even though I wanna just let it out
I try to act like I don't mind it, try to keep my mouth so quiet
But sittin' there in my silence just seems to amplify it
When I thought that keepin' this inside would make it better
I never thought that I would end up ruining it forever
But every time I think I've got everything put back together
I end up making more regrets, making more regrets
Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could've changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose
I didn't want you to think I'm worn out so easily
I wish I'd held it in so you never knew what built up inside of me
Now I don't know how it overflowed, spilled out unwillingly
But now everything that I learned to hate came out for you to see
I don't want you to promise you can change everything and make it better
'Cause you can bet I'm gonna end up ruining it forever
And every time you think you got everything put back together
I end up making more regrets, making more regrets
Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could've changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose
Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could've changed it all from the start
Fighting myself, I always lose
Fighting myself, I always lose
(ti stnaw eno on ,siht ot neppah reven ll'ti ,ti stnaw eno oN)
I can't run with this weight on my back
I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past
I can't breathe, I need to break free
From the anger that is constantly inside me
I can't run with this weight on my back
I can't see 'cause I'm focused on the past
I can't breathe, I need to break free
From the anger that is constantly inside of me
Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could've changed it all from the start
I can't breathe, I need to break free
From the anger that is constantly inside of me
Falling from grace, I watch it all come apart
Knowing I could've changed it all from the start
I can't breathe, I need to break free
From the anger that is constantly inside of me
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